Women, Orgasms, and the Secrets to Setting the Bed on Fire (Without Burning the House Down)

Listen closely, Orgasms. They're like the ideal bebinca slice at a wedding: delicious, uncommon, and unforgettable. However, unlike dessert, too many women leave the bedroom famished. And that's a damn shame, my friend. So, if you want to move from mediocre to amazing between the sheets, here are ten techniques that will transform your bedroom into a five-star experience. (with no checkout time).

1. Set the mood. Light a light, put your phone away, and give her your undivided attention.

   Physical and mental foreplay are both equally vital.

2. Food, yes, it matters! Eat as if you're getting ready for a romantic date rather than a

   boxing bout.

3. Ladies, before you expect someone else to make you happy, you should know where your fireworks are buried. Men are bad at guessing games; can you assist them out?

4. Men, foreplay is not optional. Kiss, tease, touch, and lick with your imagination and

   tongue as if it were a sacred tool.

5. Speaking of tongues, don't merely flap them like you do when talking with the lads. Rub

   the clitoris like you mean it, engage in some breast activity, and, for goodness sake, kiss her neck as if she's not your cousin.

6. Now, girls, don't be shy; go on top. The cowgirl position is not only seductive; it also

   provides control. You control the rhythm and the angle, and he may view you like a piece of art (which you are).

7. Allow your clitoris to come into contact with his pelvis while doing the act. With the

   appropriate pressure and timing, you may view fireworks before the major event.

8. And, lads, after you're finished, don't roll over like a lazy cat. Stay close. What about the

   post-orgasm moment? That's where magic occurs.

9. What is your ultimate dream? Reaching a climax together. It's not simple; it requires

   rhythm, communication, and maybe a little luck. However, once you have it, you will

   wonder why you ever settled for less.

10. Finally, unless you intend to use it for diapers and lullabies, wrap it before tapping it. Do

    not come sobbing to me when she starts knitting baby booties. Lovino issues warnings

    rather than raises.

Pleasure is more than just having orgasms. It's about connecting, being curious, and treating each other like royalty; even if the bed creaks like a decrepit fishing boat.

—Lovino, lover, teacher, and occasional mischief-maker