The Mystery of Women and the Simplicity of Men

Today we will tackle the mystery of women.

MEN ARE SIMPLE. WE ARE SO DAMN EASY THAT ONLY A WOMAN COULD POSSIBLY SCREW IT UP.

We wake up, if we’re living on borrowed time. We might grab a smoke. We then may or may not have breakfast depending how our morning wood is treating us. We go to work where all day we do two things, put points on the board (a. k. a get some money) and roll out the weekly sausage sampler. On the way home from work we’ll stop and get something meaty to throw on the grill and hopefully you brought a girl because half the fun is trying to

talk her into peeling off that bikini she’s wearing when you guys get home.

Now for women... This part might take longer than usual because I don’t know what goes on in their heads so this is going to mostly come from observation, speculation, and conjecture. So here is what I’ve managed to decipher about women. They wake up every morning as well (take notes guys it gets weird soon), head (sometimes literally) straight for the mirror where they immediately start tearing themselves down. Then comes lunch, so they need some pasta followed by breaking out their crystal ball to make sure that dark mysterious force known as “the future” isn’t going to be an issue tonight or has no plans of becoming one in the next four decades. Then they go out and try to prove once again that yes, their high heels are practical everyday footwear. Later comes dinner where they will eat an apple because god forbid if the weighing scale goes up by one gram.

But us men, eh? We’re much simpler folk! No matter what age, what stage, our taste stays the same – like a good old plate of sorpotel.

At 18? We like pretty young girls

At 25? Still pretty young girls.

At 30, when life’s getting serious? Pretty young girls

At 40 with a bit of grey coming in? Pretty young girls.

At 50? Ah, still pretty young girls.

At 60, with knees creaking and back aching? Pretty young girls, baba!

Still with 70 or 80, when we can hardly stay in a stable position? Young pretty girls!

So, here’s to all the men out there – may your taste continue to remain simple and well, let’s hope your wives don’t find out!